About me

Bengü Ergüner-Tekinalp,Ph.D

teacher, researcher, counselor, reader, dreamer, newly found Adlerian, trying to pass through the doorway without bumping her head too much.

about the “law of the low doorway”….Alfred  Adler inspires me, every time I read something about or of Adler I discover something new about myself, about life or sometimes rediscover, get in touch with what I have already known all along. Adler  described life as passing through a doorway, he says: “If you are trying to walk through a doorway four feet high, you have two basic choices. First, you can use your creative power to bend down as you approach the doorway, thereby successfully solving the problem. This is the manner in which the psychologically healthy individual solves most of life’s problems. Conversely, if you bump your head and fall back, you must still solve the problem correctly or continue bumping your head. When approaching the low doorway, you are neither compelled to stoop nor forced to bump your head. You have a creative power that permits you
to follow either course.”

This is how life works, you cannot blame the doorway for being too short, you cannot wait and expect it to change for you, this is the way it is…you should find  a way to pass through it, and you have the creativity and capability to do so. the rule is nobody passes the doorway the same as anyone else, we are all unique and have unique ways of figuring it out. As a parent, teacher, counselor, friend I cannot dictate or expect you to pass through the door the way I do it. I can listen to you, help you to come up with strategies, share my experiences and support you as you are passing through, but I cannot make you…..the way I want it….the way I do it…..

here you have it….. the philosophy of my life, my parenting, my teaching, my counseling